“It
cuts well. It cuts well. The Japanese sword of Kohka. It cuts well.”
-TV
Commercial
Directed
by: Yoshihiro Nishimura
Starring:
Eihi Shiina, Itsuji Itao, Camille LaBry, Shōko Nakahara, Sayako
Nakoshi
Trailer/Video:
Here
The
premise: In the near future, Tokyo’s police force has become
privatized, and are lately having to deal with a class of people
called “engineers”, whose bodies sprout weapons from any injury.
Our hero is Ruka, a police officer who hunts down these engineers.
My
Familiarity With the Movie: Recommended to me by a close friend a few
years ago.
Random
thoughts as I watch it:
-
Okay, that’s just heartbreaking, with a voiceover of a girl saying how much she looks up to her police officer father, then said father having his head blown off.
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What the--?
-
Most movies like this would save a chainsaw duel for the climax. This one OPENS with one.
-
There’s no way that chainsaw hand isn’t an Evil Dead homage.
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I’m a big-time Mortal Kombat fan, and even I think the gore might be too much for me.
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The birthday cake thing was sweet.
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CUTIE ALERT: The bar owner.
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Gotta say, the commercials are hilarious.
-
What the--?
-
Freud’s got nothing on this scene.
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Uh…
-
Um…
-
Well, then.
-
You’ve gotta be kidding me.
-
I’m not sure how I’m gonna answer the “recommendation” part of this review.
The
Good:
-
The commercials. They’re pitch-black dark humor...but still hilarious. Kinda has a Robocop-esque satrical bite to them.
-
Likewise, the uh, police dispatcher is such a goofy concept that you can’t help but love her.
-
The action and gore effects are so intentionally over-the-top and ridiculous that you can’t help but laugh.
-
The few times that it does try to be scary are usually effective.
The
Bad:
-
This one’s hard. There’s clearly a lot wrong with this movie...but that’s the idea, right?
-
The dialogue is corny. The plot is stupid. The characters are flat. But then again, it’s supposed to be.
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As far as legitimate complaints go, I’m gonna have to point to the slow pacing. The movie drags fairly often.
-
One of the ads for Tokyo Police Corporation features children being killed. Even in a satirical, darkly-comedic context, and the killer is quickly (and gruesomely) taken care of by the police, it just...no.
Best
Scare: Ruka walking down the streets, seeing the aftermath of the
police’s massacre on everyone they see.
What
Did We Learn Today? There’s no such thing as bleeding to death.
Even getting your hands cut off results in 30 gallons of blood
spraying out without dying.
Recommended?
I’m not sure what to tell you. I think, in general, no. This is the
kinda thing that your general audience would not care for at all.
Honestly, I didn’t particularly like it. But that doesn’t mean
it’s not an enjoyable movie. There’s definitely an audience for
this kinda stuff. I’m just not part of it.
 |
| Actual photo of me watching the movie. |
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